Dear Santa,
I was a good girl this year. So, I am writing to give you my Christmas wish list.
The first thing on my list is time. If we could extend time for a little bit so I could get everything done at work, home, and for me, that would be great! I have a lot on my plate. I mean I have a lot of responsibilities and so many deadlines from having a big important job, you understand how it is. And then there’s the constant “mom, I need help.” And, naturally, there is also the me time of refreshing myself at the “spa.” There is just not enough time for a working girl. So help me out and give me a few extra hours.
Next, I really would love it if you could find me a special elixir to make these hot flashes go away so I could get a good night’s sleep. It doesn’t have to be fancy or wrapped very pretty, I just need it to work.
I really, really, really want my son to clean his room and keep it clean—FOREVER. You know who he is, so maybe you can arrange a Christmas bartering arrangement with him.
Next, these extra pounds… they simply have been naughty all year long and it’s time they are dealt with. So, a little Christmas magic to help them go away would be great. Please, no medical intervention—just a natural, organic gift will do. And as an extra stocking stuffer, I want to be able to binge eat and drink on the weekends, with absolutely no weight gain.
And since I have been so good, it is fitting that I should get those cute little Gucci shoes. The black suede ones with the gold buckle. Don’t judge me, Santa. I am worth it!
Next on my list, a weekend getaway. Somewhere tropical with my friends. The type of place where all the hotel staff have accents, are extremely attentive, and wear those cute little white gloves. They serve us all the drinks and food we want, arrange our spa appointments, and any (or none) of the activities we might want to do. I prefer 5-star, but since it’s the holidays you may only be able to book a 4-star location.
It would be awesome if I could have a few perfect days each month. This is where I am not rushed and always on time. Nobody at work is crazy, mean, or sarcastic to me. And there is no drama. I know that’s a big ask. My hair cooperates and looks good. My face is radiant, no blemishes and no bags under my eyes. In fact I look ten years younger. My clothes fit, no muffin top or indentations on my skin. And of course, I am wearing my new Gucci shoes.
Now I realize I am asking for a lot. But like I said, I have been really good. You can verify this with my husband, kids, friends, boss, and coworkers. They will vouch for me! Yet, I don’t want to be selfish, and I know you are busy this time of year, so if you can’t get me everything, I guess I will settle for those cute little Gucci Shoes.
Thank you Santa!